Read My Mind....

Nike

Oct 15, '08 11:01 PM
for everyone

Do you see that handsome young man up there? That's my baby brother! Everyone in the family calls him "Pops." I know, I know...he looks more like a linebacker! I love him more than words. My older brother and I refer to him as the "Alpha Male." We gave him that nick name after hearing numerous "arguments" from my parent's about which one of them runs things in the house. My older brother and I reminded them that though they may pay the bills, Pops is running thangs! He is the Alpha Male and they know it! LOL!

You couldn't tell from this picture, but he is a miracle. My brother is autistic. He doesn't speak much, but I know he understands way more than we give him credit. He is able to take of himself. He fixes his own meals, does his own laundry, handles his hygiene unassisted, and goes to work everyday. My mother put forth a great deal of effort to get him to the point of being this self-sufficient. I call him a miracle because according to the doctor's, he wasn't supposed to live beyond the age of 4. He was born perfectly healthy and was a scrappy little boy. When he was 18 months old, he became very ill. This became very difficult for my parents. Their youngest son, who was born healthy and developmentally on track, came home very different. He no longer spoke, he became very isolated and transfixed on specific objects. He didn't make eye contact the way he used to. He developed allergies to EVERYTHING! Milk, eggs, nuts, fish, and beans. He had severe asthma and was very small. At one point, my parent were told to put him in a home and forget about him, they were young with two other healthy kids, they should get on with their lives. My dad wasn't having it. Sick or not, the family stays together and if my brother was going to frail and sickly, it would be at home...where he belonged.

With thanks to celebrity moms like Holly Robinson Peete, Toni Braxton and Jenny McCarthy and many others, autism is becoming a better understood health issue. When my brother was diagnosed with meningitis and then autism, my parents lost friends because they thought their kids might catch whatever my brother had. There were even some family members who made some cruel statements. My brother's survival and success is the best answer to their ignorance!

I'm not one to attempt to take on a cause just because it impacts me (it feels selfish to take on a cause for that reason), so I am not a part of any organization for autism, but I hope that this blog will educate those who may have never heard of the condition and inspire caregivers to someone with this condition.

Be blessed, ya'll!

Tags: autism, purpose

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14 CommentsChronological Reverse Threaded

tonytonystark wrote on Oct 15, '08

Thanks Nike.

Your topic, ironically, received some national attention tonight. And though void of the personal and passionate resonance you give, it at least started a very national discussion again around how we prioritize special individual needs over and above the rank of special interests. Perhaps the wrong candidate offered the topic and maybe for the wrong reason but right causes are still, thankfully, greater that right wing dogma.

Certainly to discuss this subject is little bit easier for some than assigning any financial place to it in wake of how we have mortgaged our future with multinational financial interests. That is what has to occur if research gets any better, if care and inclusion gets any better, if education gets any better.

Within my larger family(immediate cousins) I have both inspirational stories of autism and deaf-mutism. Both in the same family! I am very proud of their stories of accomplishment and self determination now for over fifty years in one instance and more than 40 in the other.

I agree that sometimes it would seem crusading to publicly promote such causes especially when they clearly manifests our personal interest-- even agenda. But I also believe it is just that that is often needed to ensure that both the fervency and focus of such matters remain intact and to guard against them becoming donnish and esoteric.

Pop's success story, as those in many of our individual families, are our collective stories. We are opportune and privilege to ennoble them every occasion we get.

They speak to the value we assign to our humanity and voice we add to its acceptation.

Keep telling the story...
Be and do well.

hadeev wrote on Oct 16, '08

I praise your parents for doing what parents are supposed to do: be there for their children and stay together for better or worse. Kids don't come born with a handbook of instructions, and parents have to do the best they have with what God has given them. I'm not sure if autism is linked to an allergic reaction in some babies to vaccinations, but I've heard that it's a possibility. At least scientists, parents and therapists are managing to somewhat break down the communication barriers between autistic children and themselves.

Your brother is blessed and he is rare in his ability to do so much for himself. Most autistic people have a special talent or gift. Most autistic people are male as well.

Two and a half years ago, I worked as a substitute teachers aide. Often I would sit in class with the special ed kids. One autistic boy loved to do puzzles, but he put them together in an unusual way. Most of us would snap together the border and then work our way toward the middle. This boy worked the puzzle from the middle to the border. He blew me away. An autistic girl I once knew mastered the Mario Brothers game and would often score over a million points without having her man get killed off. She couldn't speak an audible word. Looking back, I remember she had food allergies and could tolerate very few things. Her mom fed her through a tube that went straight to her stomach. We mustn't write these kids off. On the one hand while we are trying to reach the right part of their brain, they have something to teach us on the other hand. Your brother sounds like a jewel.

preciousspice wrote on Oct 16, '08

Thank you for writing your blog about your brother. I am a mom of a 16 year old girl who has autism. My daughter's name is Alicia. She is my pride and joy. She is non-verbal but understands what you are saying to her and can follow your instructions. She occasionally will say words. I have been hearing her say a few words lately.
So i know a lot about autism because i am raising a child with autism. People think she is normal until she starts humming or playing with her ( Mardgras) beads. She is playing less with them now that she is older. She likes to keep them in her hand and swing them in her hands.
Once again thank you for writing about your brother. I enjoyed it .

fit4aking wrote on Oct 16, '08

Thank you for sharing. Even though I work in a Children's hospital, I haven't worked with autistic children. So, I know about it but have never dealt with it personally.

don1228 wrote on Oct 16, '08

May God bless you and your family for the love you are showing for Pops!

THIS is the lesson that God has wanted us to learn forever!!!

don1228 wrote on Oct 16, '08

News you can use:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2003/07/02/pasteurized-milk-part-three.aspx

princessnike wrote on Oct 16, '08

preciousspice said

Hey Precious,
Alicia likes her beads, huh? Sounds like my brother. He always has to have two things in his hands: a pencil or some kind of stick and a calculator. He is obsessed with calculators! Everytime I walk in the door he comes to me with some store catalog or flier and begins pointing and telling me the the model number or description. Sometimes he attempt a full sentence and say, "I want 'XYZ' calculator...yes please!" He really has come a long way!

Do you remember the "Speak and Read" toys? (If you have ever seen the movie, ET, it is the toy he used to "phone home") That toy is how my brother learned to speak! When he was younger, he would play with them for HOURS! As he got older, his teachers questioned his the gravelly sound to his voice...we didn't pay attention until it was pointed out, but his entire pattern of speech was based on him imitating the computerized voice on the toy.

princessnike wrote on Oct 16, '08

tonytonystark said

Within my larger family(immediate cousins) I have both inspirational stories of autism and deaf-mutism. Both in the same family! I am very proud of their stories of accomplishment and self determination now for over fifty years in one instance and more than 40 in the other.

Thanks for your comments Tony,

When I think about the fact that someone thought that he wouldn't live beyond the age of 4, I have to say "Thank God." Look at what love did! Every day is a milestone! The easiest thing to do is give up, thank God our families (and many others) didn't give up. Love cures quite a bit, don't you think?

princessnike wrote on Oct 16, '08

hadeev said

Your brother is blessed and he is rare in his ability to do so much for himself. Most autistic people have a special talent or gift. Most autistic people are male as well.

I really have to give my parent's credit. They were determined that he would not have to rely on anyone! My mother was a pitpull when he was in high school. The school was part of a program you may have heard of called Chimes ( http://www.chimes.org/). Typically when autistic students hit working age, they try to train them for simple tasks such as stuffing envelopes, or putting together the toys found in gumball machines or cleaning. My mother was not having it. She told them that he was good with numbers (he used to be able to divide 6 digit numbers by 3 digit numbers IN HIS HEAD and come up with the correct answer every time) and insisted that they train him on the computer or in something dealing with numbers. Today he is employed by a local bank in their payments department, and he double checks to totals on the batches from the data entry department.

princessnike wrote on Oct 16, '08

Thanks Fit!

princessnike wrote on Oct 16, '08

don1228 said

News you can use:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2003/07/02/pasteurized-milk-part-three.aspx

Thanks for the article Donny! There are so many things that could contribute. My parents were of the belief that the vaccines may have caused my brother's illness. They were angry and actually considered suing, but at the end of the day, how do you calculate what you have lost? How to you quantify the value of life after such an illness? You don't!

I think the unfortunate thing is that most of the medical community seems to dismiss the theories described in the article or alternative forms treatment. Hopefully the present movement will yeild success for future families that may be faced with this illness.

hadeev wrote on Oct 16, '08

princessnike said

Today he is employed by a local bank in their payments department, and he double checks to totals on the batches from the data entry department.

Wow, that's impressive. I once worked at a temp assignment where a mentally-challenged man was gifted with an incredible memory. If you needed a file, he could find it. He could tell you what day of the week August 15, 1976 fell on. His brain was like a perpetual calendar.

khiron515 wrote on Oct 16, '08

This must be a very interesting situation for your family to be in..., to live and love one that is challenged, and I use the term loosely, because it is we that are challenged in trying to understand and meet the special needs of special people, and in meeting those needs one must show a great deal of love and patience.
I commend you and your family for assisting "Pops" upon his journey and thus enhancing yours.
Be blessed.
1

princessnike wrote on Oct 17, '08

khiron515 said

I think the interesting this is how "normal" my parent's made everything. I never heard them say, "Why us?" They were so young when this happened...this is the type of thing that pulls some families apart, but I think it brought us closer together.
Thanks for your comments, bro!

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